Sakura's Apples
by NarutoLover2001
Summary: Sakura tries to enjoy her apples, but gets more than she expects.
1. Chapter 1: Apples

Chapter 1: Apples

Sakura sat, in the shade of the tree. Eating an apple like she does every day at 2:03 pm on the dot. Sitting in her favorite field to enjoy her afternoon snack. But something was strange this day. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt she wasn't alone. The feeling of a thousand piercing eyes came over her, sending a chill down her spine.

"Hello?" she called out, not expecting any answer.

"Hello!" came a muffled voice. Suddenly, the dirt in front of Sakura erupted, revealing Hinata.

"Hinata, what are you doing underground?" asked Sakura.

"Silly, I always dig. Then I saw you sitting here and- SQUIRREL!" Hinata's gaze shifted to a completely new direction, one unlike any mortal has seen before. This nearly broke Sakura's mind, but then Hinata returned to normal.

"But anyway, all this digging has made me mighty hungry. I'd love a bite of your apple, Sakura!"

Sakura looked at the apple half in her hand for a second. Could she part with such a beautiful object like this? Could she sacrifice everything she loved to help her friend? She thought about it some more, and even more. No Matter how many times she thought, her mind wouldn't let her hand over the apple piece.

"Sakura, are you okay?" asked Sakura out loud to herself.

"Sakura, are you okay? You haven't answered my question yet," said Hinata, drooling on the apple in Sakura's hand.

Sakura thought one last thought. "No," she said, shoving the entire apple half into her mouth. "I canfffth yeth you haff thish pieshe."

Hinata's face became orange, as it does when she turns angry. "WHY NOT?! WHAT ABOUT LAST WEEK WHEN I LET YOU ON MY SWING SET?!"

"Ith's too delishoush, Showerahs. But you can haff thish whole ahpeal all by yourselth." Sakura reached into her back pocket and pulled out another apple, presenting it to Hinata. Hinata returned to her normal color, a color unknown to humankind.

A tear came to Hinata's eye. As in tearing a piece of paper. Her eye was bleeding, but she didn't care. That apple looked delicious and would make her bones grow. "This is ... the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, Sakura,"

Hinata said, holding back from crying as her eye kept tearing wider and wider.

"It's the least I could do, Hinata. You helped me overcome my fear of apples."

Sakura's razor sharp tongue extended from her mouth to peel the skin off the apple. Sakura handed the now peeled apple to Hinata, whose face was tore open, almost entirely a gaping wound.

They sat under the tree and enjoyed their apples together. The end.

Chapter 2: A New Promotion

After finishing the apples, Hinata's head was completely gone. She said her goodbye and tunneled back underground, leaving Sakura behind under her tree.

Sakura sat under the tree, feeling alone at last to enjoy her 2:08 pm orange.

Sakura took a bite, noticing a large amount of blood to be drawn from the orange. Suddenly the orange transformed into Ino, bleeding out of her arm.

"INO!" screamed Sakura in anger, weilding her razor-sharp tongue as a sword.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, taking off her left bitten arm and welding it. Welding it to a steel cube that appeared as Ino transformed from an orange.

"INOW!" screamed Sakura in anger, weidling her tongue as a sword still.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, still welding her arm to the cube.

"IKNOW!" screamed Sakura in anger, weidling her tongue as a sword still.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, who was now finished welding. "I have come for my revenge!"

"YOUR revenge? What about MY revenge?" asked Sakura, who accidentally bit her tongue off while talking. "If you apologize to my horse, I'll just forgive you without hurting you!"

"Never! Not until you apologize for stealing my horse!" yelled Ino, head sinking into her chest.

"Iknoa. I told you I was just borrowing the horse! I gave you a very specific time I would give it back! 'The end of the world'!" Sakura was so angry that she gripped her sword tongue too hard and had it cut her hand. She didn't care, she just wanted to win the arguement.

Ino's head had sunk low enough that it snapped her neck, killing her instantly. Her body was still standing.

"Ikanoa, you can't pull that 'But the end of the world is too far away' card on me! It wont work!" The tongue sword had cut through her hand completely.

Where Ino's head once was was no longer there. Her head had sunken so far down that her neck was just a hole into her body.

"Icanoa, are you- Icaboa, stop doing that! Don't give me those puppy dog eyes right before our epic fight!"

The arm cube dragged itself on top of Ino's body and tried burying itself arm first into the neck hole.

"Sigh ... you know I can't stay mad at you when you do that, Icabod. Come here and enjoy this orange with me.

"Okay!" the steel cube said gleefully, taking on the personality of Ino and having all her memories while also replacing her head.

The two spent the next 5 hours under that shady tree, enjoying the one orange Sakura brought.

"Icabody, I guess I should tell you ..." started Sakura, who was now a cat.

"Yes, Sakura?" asked Ino, sucking on an orange peel.

"Icaybody, I forgive you for killing my horse."

"Oh, Sakura, I forgive you for stealing my horse," said Ino.

Sakura laid down on Ino's lap and curled up, dozing off into a sleep.

The end.


	2. Chapter 2: A new promotion

Chapter 2: A New Promotion

After finishing the apples, Hinata's head was completely gone. She said her goodbye and tunneled back underground, leaving Sakura behind under her tree.

Sakura sat under the tree, feeling alone at last to enjoy her 2:08 pm orange.

Sakura took a bite, noticing a large amount of blood to be drawn from the orange. Suddenly the orange transformed into Ino, bleeding out of her arm.

"INO!" screamed Sakura in anger, weilding her razor-sharp tongue as a sword.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, taking off her left bitten arm and welding it. Welding it to a steel cube that appeared as Ino transformed from an orange.

"INOW!" screamed Sakura in anger, weidling her tongue as a sword still.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, still welding her arm to the cube.

"IKNOW!" screamed Sakura in anger, weidling her tongue as a sword still.

"SAKURA!" screamed Ino in anger, who was now finished welding. "I have come for my revenge!"

"YOUR revenge? What about MY revenge?" asked Sakura, who accidentally bit her tongue off while talking. "If you apologize to my horse, I'll just forgive you without hurting you!"

"Never! Not until you apologize for stealing my horse!" yelled Ino, head sinking into her chest.

"Iknoa. I told you I was just borrowing the horse! I gave you a very specific time I would give it back! 'The end of the world'!" Sakura was so angry that she gripped her sword tongue too hard and had it cut her hand. She didn't care, she just wanted to win the arguement.

Ino's head had sunk low enough that it snapped her neck, killing her instantly. Her body was still standing.

"Ikanoa, you can't pull that 'But the end of the world is too far away' card on me! It wont work!" The tongue sword had cut through her hand completely.

Where Ino's head once was was no longer there. Her head had sunken so far down that her neck was just a hole into her body.

"Icanoa, are you- Icaboa, stop doing that! Don't give me those puppy dog eyes right before our epic fight!"

The arm cube dragged itself on top of Ino's body and tried burying itself arm first into the neck hole.

"Sigh ... you know I can't stay mad at you when you do that, Icabod. Come here and enjoy this orange with me.

"Okay!" the steel cube said gleefully, taking on the personality of Ino and having all her memories while also replacing her head.

The two spent the next 5 hours under that shady tree, enjoying the one orange Sakura brought.

"Icabody, I guess I should tell you ..." started Sakura, who was now a cat.

"Yes, Sakura?" asked Ino, sucking on an orange peel.

"Icaybody, I forgive you for killing my horse."

"Oh, Sakura, I forgive you for stealing my horse," said Ino.

Sakura laid down on Ino's lap and curled up, dozing off into a sleep.

The end.


	3. Chapter 3: Electric Type Showdown!

Chapter 3: Electric Type Showdown!

Sakura returned to the old, withered tree. The tree that once provided shade centuries ago was ruined, torn by the war and meteor that had devastated the landscape.

Every day. 2:03 pm. It was like clockwork. Sakura sat under the tree to enjoy an apple. Using her cat claws, she sliced the peel off the apple. A new habit she learned the hard way. All new grown apples have radiated peels, and eating them causes horrible side effects. She was still dedicated to keeping up her old routine.

Approaching the cat were two ironclad warriors. As Sakura deli-cat-ly ate her apple, she stared down the pair of clowns. They got closer and closer with each bite of her apple. Eventually the magicians were face to face with the cat.

Sakura licked apple juices her paw.

"About time you showed up," said Sakura.

"Yes, it's been far too-", the narrator cut off the speech one of the fast food managers were about to finish with the power of quotation marks.

Sakura looked really confused. "Hey, narrator. What gives?"

The narrator explained that he has no idea what is going on in the story so far. Why had the series suddenly turned so dramatic? What happened in those hundreds of years? War? Meteor? This is the first time the narrator had heard any of these things.

One of the firefighters spoke up. "We could explain it to you if you wanted," the police offi"Okay, really. Stop changing what I am," said Naruto, completely ruining the dramatic reveal that he was one of the warriors from the beginning all along.

Naruto continued, "This isn't funny or anything. All you're really managing to do is confuse whoever this reads this and make them think that there really are warriors, engineers, helicopter pilots, monkeys, whatever you just said."

The narrator states that he was just sticking to a theme of the previous two chapters. The narrator then asks who the other person is with him.

The other mysterious person turned out to be none other than Janice. Narrator was confused by who this person even is.

"Well, if you'd let me explain anything ..." lectured Naruto.

Janice opened the hole in front of her face called a mouth. "Yeah, ain't no one- wait, why're you so hostile against me?!"

Narrator says that Janice doesn't exist. Janice was then erased from existence.

Narrator demanded that Naruto and Sakura explain the events that led up to this point.

Sakura starts, "It all started centuries ago... Icaybody and I finally made up about the horse issue and slept in the shade of a tree."

-Centuries ago-

Ino was asleep under the shade of the tree, Sakura was sleeping in her lap. Sakura wakes up and says "Man, I sure am glad we settled that horse issue. Right, Decaybody?"

Ino woke up, stretching out the one remaining arm she had. "Yeah, that really sucked when it had split us apart," she responded.

"Well, same time tomorrow?" asked Sakura.

"Of course, I'm sure nothing will happen that would stop us from meeting tomorrow and enjoying another fruit in the shade of a tree, especially nothing devastating and on a much larger scale than we even realize can exist." Ino walked away, leaving Sakura at the tree.

The tree suddenly grew a face and spoke. "Man, that sure was a weird thing to say," said the tree.

"Yeah, she's like that!" said Sakura.

Suddenly, the ground in the distance erupted. The once quiet and peaceful land was being torn asunder by quakes, fire spewing from the newly formed gaps in the ground. The fires spread fast, engulfing the tree quickly. The tree screamed in agony as its bark turned to ashes, the inner wood soon following.

Sakura tried running from the fires, but was stopped by new cliffs forming from the everchanging ground.

Sakura turned to watch the flames take her favorite tree. Everything she loved and held dear disappeared before her eyes. The fires had almost caught up to her, suddenly she was lifted off the ground. She soar higher and higher, farther and farther from the land she once called home. She felt a tugging sensation on her back, as if she were being lifted by something. Sakura looked up to see her savior.

It was a graceful flying giraffe. Sakura couldn't believe her eyes. It was the strangest thing that she had seen all day, the giraffe was almost entirely a mustard yellow! She would have been happier, but her homeland was destroyed seconds beforehand.

They flew for a bit, Sakura never asking a question. She hung there, from the giraffe, miles above the earth. She was thankful that she was saved, but she had a clear view of all the destruction happening below. Lava demons roamed, entire cities being cleared in mere seconds. The once carefree lives of billions, suddenly all vanished.

The giraffe finally landed on a secluded island, far from the main land. It let Sakura go. Sakura turned to face the giraffe.

Almost no words could come out of her mouth. "Who are you? What's going on? What were those creatures? Why have they come? It all happened so fast. Are my friends alright?"

The giraffe responded, "My name is Sasuke. What's going is that the archdemon lord Hinata has finally found the ancient artifact she had been digging for her entire life. Once tossed into the center of the earth, it causes the end of all times. I don't know about your friends."

"Oh, okay." responded Sakura. "So, what now?"

"Our task is to find the one. The one to end all the suffering. The light in the darkness that is now Earth. The true hero among many not-so-heroes. The bean in the burrito. The random chunks of whatever in the hotdog. Gosh, I'm hungry right now."

"I think I know who that could be," responded Sakura. She did a quick gag and coughed up a hairball. The hairball quickly formed to be a knight.

The new hairball person spoke, "I am Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses."

Sasuke looked please that they had found the true hero so quickly. "Well, Naruto. I'm glad that-" Sasuke was cut off.

"I'm sorry, please refer to me by my full name," said Naruto.

Naruto and Sasuke just stared at each other for a second, Sasuke's stare one of confusion, Naruto's of expectation. After a few more seconds, Naruto finally continued. "Well, go on. Just use my full name."

"What's your full name?" asked Sasuke.

"Weren't you listening? Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses."

"... okay then. Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses, I'm glad that-" Sasuke was cut off by Naruto's laughter.

"I can't believe I actually got you to say that!"

"... alright. Naruto, I'm glad that-" Sasuke was cut off by Naruto.

"No, but seriously. Use my full name."

"OH MY GOD, DUDE. JUST LET ME TALK. Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses, I'm glad that-" Sasuke was cut off by an extremely heavy wind and a large, booming voice.

"I WANNA JOIN TOO!" exclaimed the voice. In a puff of smoke, a wizard appeared.

Naruto immediately recruited him. "Alright, we'll just need your name and occupation."

The wizard responded. "I am Kakashi, the science wizard! I brew magic in my calculator."

Sasuke decided to try again. "Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses, I'm glad that-" he was cut off by Sakura's enthusiam to save her tree.

"Wow, we have such a group now!" she yelled. "I swear the prophecy spoke of another person in the party, but I guess we'll find them later."

Sasuke decided to try again. "Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses, I'm glad that-" he was cut off by Kakashi using a calculator to speed the story up a bit.

After pressing 58008 in the calculator, the entire group was transported to the center of the earth. It was completely hollowed out.

Sasuke decided to try again. "Naruto, slayer of all evil thinguses, I'm glad that-" he was cut off by a bright red glow in the everlasting darkness that used to be the Earth's center.

The glow ended up being the eyes of a dragon. The dragon opened its colossal mouth and spewed energy in its purest and most raw form. The force of the blast caused the universe to reverse big bang, deconstructing all Matter and condensing it in a single point. Everything was gone. All life, destroyed. All everything, destroyed.

-Centuries further-

"THE END!" said Sakura, concluding the story in flashback form.

Narrator sat in silence before pointing out the paradoxes. Besides the obvious universe being abolished, what had happened to everything else? Where did Janice come into play? If fires engulfed the tree, why is it still here? What of the comet mentioned in the second sentence? Wasn't the story supposed to include Sharles? Didn't all of those events happen in the span of maybe 15 minutes, instead of centuries?

Sakura started pondering some of these questions, too.

"Hey, I have an idea mister and or misses narrator!" said Sakura.

"And what would that be?" asked Naruto.

"Really, Naruto? I told the narrator, not you. Anyway, I think the narrator erasing Janice also erased her from past and future events, creating two different timelines. Time could function weirdly, causing everyone to have memories of both times. The one where everything turned out fine and the one where the universe implodes. And if that's the case, I guess I remembered the wrong one! Whoops!"

Letting out a deep sigh, Narrator gives up. Narrator no longer wants to continue trying to get info out of a bunch of clearly insane individuals.

Eventually, Naruto starts freaking out. "I ... uh ... oh god. I think everything is deconstructing."

Surely enough, atom by atom, everything was falling apart.

"Seriously, what gives?" asks Naruto. "I finally get to this tree like I promised Sakura, and everything's dying."

"All things dying ..." pondered Sakura. "Could it be?"

"Very well could be ... could be what?" asked Naruto.

"Each timeline got seperated, I think the universe is trying to sync the timelines. The quickest possible way to do that is to destroy everything in this time than to rebuild everything in the other."

Soon, the tree had disappeared from existence and so were parts of Sakura, Naruto, and everything else on the planet.

Even Narrator was getting worried. Would he be next? Could Narrator narrate if nothing exists? Would Narrator disappear with the rest of them? Could he save everyone like he destroyed them all on accident earlier?

Vacuums of space started forming, places where nothing existed. Narrator tried narrating things in. And everything was fine. All things returned to the way they were.

Exactly nothing happened, all things were still being destroyed piece by tiny piece.

"Right, um ..." started Naruto. "I didn't plan on actually dying today. Can you please fix things narrator?"

"You started all this, narrator! Change it back!" yelled Sakura, fully losing two of her four legs.

"Oh, please! Narrator!" begged Naruto. He had already halfway faded out.

Nothing's working, guys! Please, just hold on a little longer!

"Er ... narrator, please! Respond to us! You've gone so quiet all of a sudden!" Sakura was practically a floating head now.

Wait ... can they not hear me anymore?

"It won't stop ..." Naruto said. "Narrator abandoned us, he wants us to die."

That had hurt Narrator to hear. Narrator only hated Janice.

He never intended any of this. Everything had vanished completely. Only a white void remained, nothing else existing.

Maybe there was another way.

A way that involved a secret code of sorts.

Glazily skimming the story again, Narrator figured out what to do. The secret will be revealed. The key to saving all life.

If you read the first letter of the previous 27 paragraphs, this one, and the one after this, you can find out the fate of this universe.

"Can't wait to see you guys again," said Narrator, with a smile.


End file.
